Is it just me?
Posted on December 4, 2011 by Natalie in In Photos, In Words
By Annette D.
Yes, I’m a female and yes, I have a firearm… several in fact. Should I look or act a certain way because I own and shoot a firearm? No. Then why do people act the way they do when they find out?
I got a call yesterday from a businessman I work with on and off. We’ve never met, I live in the Northeast, he lives out West. We worked together for a few months and then he changed gears and didn’t need my services for the time being. I’d get a call every few months to check in and keep in touch. Life was good.
Yesterday’s call was apparently prompted by my Google+ profile picture. It’s me firing at a target. “Your Google profile picture, is that you?”
The picture in question..
Me: Umm, yes. Him: With a gun? You have a gun? Me: I have several firearms. Him: Why. Me: Because I shoot?
I changed the subject back to business and a few minutes later he mentioned that he wondered if it were smart for me to use a picture “like that” on a public profile. I was polite, as I was hoping to do more work for him in the future, but REALLY? Is it that bad? Am I missing something? I explained that my Google+ profile is used mainly to keep in touch with other firearms enthusiasts that I’ve met on various forums and I don’t use it to solicit business, not that I would be worried that my profile picture would hinder that. My work speaks for itself. Then I get this…”Wow, between the gun picture and your Skype picture, you must be some kind of a control freak, no?” My Skype picture is me on my horse.
Is this the photo of a control freak?
At this point, I felt the need to be less polite than I had been during the conversation because I now no longer cared if I work for him again. My answer was simply, “I have a horse, and I have firearms, I do not see what one has to do with the other, nor do I see where you’re going with this, or how it would affect our working relationship. We have a business relationship, my personal life is none of your business, nor is your personal life any of mine.”
I’m a proud NRA member. I’m a proud American. Why are people so phobic of firearms and those of us who choose to own and enjoy them? You don’t want one? That’s your choice! I happen to enjoy mine, so leave me alone. He ended up asking me to look into something for him, but I’m not at all sure now I want to even deal with him again.
Is it because I’m a woman? Would a male associate of his even be questioned? Just the fact that he felt the need to bring it up (twice) upsets me… anybody ever have anything similar happen to them? How did you deal with it?
I’ve totally experienced this. It’s kind of crazy.
I am a man and some people act funny when you mention guns. Some people don’t like guns, and don’t believe anyone should own one.I’m a CCW carrier here in Ohio, and I intend to protect me and my family from anyone who would try and harm us.
Not all men are a$$’s when it comes to woman and guns. I wish my wife wanted to learn more about them. I’ve been trying to get her to the range for years. She’s not a hater (or we wouldn’t have went on a second date). She likes know I carry but doesn’t want to shoot. Oh well….
NO…you are not the only one. ALL of my male counterparts are fully aware of what I do. It can be extremely unpleasant at times.
Ha! at least you can disconnect yourself from this guy!! MY FATHER does me this way and worse! I’m an NRA firearms instructor, I have my own business (related to my classes) and I’ve shot for nearly 20 yrs. Even to this day he refuses to acknowledge any of that and says the I’m a terrorist and that I’m raising my children to be terrorists. He’s even suggested that he thinks he should report me to homeland security. WHAT??? Because I have a concealed carry PERMIT (I’m on file.. for the love of pete) and I teach other people to be safe with their guns??? SUCH total ignorance.
Bravo Annette!!! Stand in the door ! If we don’t stand up for what we believe, we can just as sure give up everything we think we are and hold dear to us. This guy is a ‘caver’. Gives in to the sway of the political wind, and it sounds like he is listening to the wrong gust of it !
I work with predominately ALL men… They all know what I do. A huge problem with ego…but I have noticed that once they figure out what Im talking about…they start asking me questions…Its come to the point that now they call on me for advice. Take a deep breath Chickas..KNOW YOUR STUFF.
That’s because you went from a female he worked with to someone that scared the heck out of him. Tough cookies.
It would be sad to lose the business relationship due to his stupidity but hey – what can you do? You are who you are and if does’t like it he can move on.
Speaking as a man, I’ve had very similar comments; “You really shouldn’t have a gun in your profile picture, it’ll give the wrong impression.” That’s in the UK, though, where people think anyone who shoots must be a homicidal maniac. On the whole, I find that worries like that say more about the worrier than the shooter.
Personally, if I lived somewhere I could legally carry, I’d have an M&P on my belt at all times. My wife, who’s South African, likes to have a stun gun, a knife and a can of OC in her handbag. She doesn’t shoot, but if she did, I’d hope she’d carry as well.
So yeah – I’ve never understood the stigma around female shooters. But then, both my mother and sister are confident (though very occasional) shooters. During my military service my company had a fair number of female soldiers, and I’d be happy to have any of them watch my back, so perhaps my perspective is a bit unusual.
Sadly, I just experienced this with my brother of all people. We have lived pretty different lives since he lives in one state, and I in another. The other day on the phone, I mentioned that I was getting a pink gun, after which the following conversation ensued:
Him: Why?
Me (think he was questioning the pink part): Because I like pink.
Him: No, why are you getting a gun?
Me: Well first of all, I already own some, and secondly, because I want it. You know I have my CCW, right?
Him: No
Me: I teach CCW, too.
Him: What makes you qualified?
Me: What do you mean? I own guns, I shoot as often as possible, and I’ve taken a course to become an instructor.
Him: I still don’t know if you’re qualified.
Me: Well apparently the NRA does, and so do the people I’ve already taught.
Him: Have you ever had to draw your gun on some one?
Me: No, have you?
It goes on like that, but you get my drift. My point is, if your own family doesn’t support you, who will?
I recently took up shooting and absolutely love it. In Canada we have very strict gun laws and getting my gun licence is proving tricky as I got divorced three years ago.
People think I am insane that I love guns…However, that being said…A lot of people also really, really love shooting as well. In fact, I convinced my boss to have our team building at the gun range this year! There are very few women at our company and I am the only one that has an interest in guns.
Small-minded people will always act in small-minded ways (this seems to go double for men that think they need to assert their small-minded controlling egos). Don’t waste your time with them.
Ditto what Carol says. Ever since I saw Linda Hamilton field stripping and cleaning a CAR in T2, I’ve become attracted to women who are proficient in firearms handling. Men are like that. On the other hand, “guys” will run like scalded dogs away from a woman who can take care of herself.
My husband got me a new carry gun for our anniversary last spring. His family and some friends were rather surprised and really didnt understand as many dont. My brothers both thought it was cool as did one of my sis in laws and some friends. I do what I want to do. The law allows it and I enjoy shooting. Everyone who doesnt “understand guns” needs to learn . Ignorance is the biggest victimizer.
@Steve Wilcox , when I met my wife she told me she was against guns. I pointed out to her that there were no options. She married me, she married the guns. Now she suprises me and tells me she would like to have a plinking pistol. She won’t hunt, but is willing to learn to shoot. One step at a time ….
Real men think women wih guns are hot. When they ride a Horse also = hotter. Not trying to be a male pig but I’m not a sheep either
Sad.
It’s because weak men want to dominate even when they are afraid of guns
Just shows their insecurity and small mindedness.
I’ve been looked at by men as though I were an alien. Perhaps they are more comfortable with a non-thinking female?
I have had women bug out once they know i carry others kind of like it
In my experience, it bothers women but men think it’s hot. :/
No, it’s HIM; he was likely taking a break from his porn and thought he would jack off to your pic had it met with his approval. Since he figured out he could never put something between your legs nearly as exciting as a horse, he got defensive and pissy. I would have been less diplomatic, but I assume you may have figured that out by now…
I have a theory about this..Men think about sex HOW MANY TIMES IN A MINUTE?? SEX and POWER drive men.. When a woman shows She is an Equal to a man He automatically feels Threatened on both SEX and POWER.. I have many firearms because EVIL Exists and We must take responsibility for our own security..Plus I have a pack of BRASILLIAN MASTIFFS on guard of my property . I take my security very seriously .
But you can fire off just as many rounds in a second! Who’s more effective!
There is a quote from Betty White, “Why do people say “grow some balls” ? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, Grow a vagina .. Those things can take a pounding.”
I train horses, and own many different firearms..i had a male “friend” de-friend me because of a firearm picture!
Anyone who is offended by a woman who carries a gun safely is insecure. Anyone who is scared of a profile picture because it shows a woman carrying or shooting a gun is not worth having as a friend anyways.
Amen, Raven. I am sitting here in bed peacefully sipping my coffee, but I can just as easily grab my Glock or 870 should the need arise…
His issue was more with himself than any problem he had with Miss Annette. Empowered women are awesome and I totally support ladies gun clubs and ladies that shoot. We need more of each. Introduce someone new to gun safety and the shooting sports when you can. Women represent the greatest growth potential for our sports and for a strong and vibrant NRA and 2nd Amendment.
Uncertainty and insecurity does accurately describe must of our society today. Love the way you answered confident and decisive. More women, like yourself are becoming a positive force for change.
Suzanne I love it!
This is not a man-woman thing. I have been a man for many years, now. I have had many males (not ‘men’, mind you) give me a similar reaction.
Some of them eventually came around (dare I say, ‘manned up’?) and took my course and are now able to defend the women and children that they love.
Love is NOT an emotion, nor a feeling, love is something you do: Being ready, willing and able to defend your family is an act of LOVE!
Http://oursafehome.net
This is not a gender based issue. The “guns are bad” paradigm is alive and well throughout the world. Social media is not a secure chat line. There are many things I will not post on social media knowing my audience is infinite. My boss is a gossiping poster child for “Ms. Normal” and has a sack full of baggage bigger than Santa’s. Obviously I’m on a limb with this post but I’m playing the odds. Why? OMG! Really? The possibilities are as limitless as the scope of thought itself.
I think it might have been 1/2 & 1/2, some still think women shouldn’t have guns – when before everyone became what they state as civilized “women had guns”. But there are still closed minds out there that think women shouldn’t wear pants either. I know it’s a tough thing with social media – do you hide who you are or your hobbies so you don’t chance not getting work? Or do you be you and hope for the best?
Ridiculous! I’ve recently experienced something similar, from a family member no less! I posted about it on the site under Shooting Siren, so I won’t bore anyone with a repeat. What I do want to say is Good for you for telling him what you thought.
It is crazy but I am the opposite. If I see your pic and you are holding, firing, or cleaning ANY firearm I’m more likely to work with you than against you. But I love firearms and own, shoot, clean, and hunt. I believe in the second ammendment wholehartidly !! And for the guy that cut ties beccause of it, you are a coward !!!
My daughter is a custom gunsmith, you can only imagine what looks she gets! But most guys I know have the same question when they find out, “Is she married?”
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
-Robert Heinlein
…..I would add to that that every human should be able to shoot a gun and ride a horse. Don’t worry about what other people think:).
We would need to have work meetings with horsies and guns
May have been stereotyping or that guy might be anti-gun.
I loved your response of personal life being non of his business. You’re right, what you do in your personal time has no effect on your work. The guy has no right to judge you on anything that does not concern the work you do at your job.
Yes, if he keeps mentioning your personal life during business, then it is time to drop that client, and possibly report him for prying into your personal life.
btw, you go girl! <3 ya!
It amazes me how someones perception of you changes after they find out you own guns. The way I see it is some people are wolves, while others are sheep. I like to think of myself as the Shepherd.
Let me take a different approach… leaving the man and his comments aside, it may not be smart to publicly identify yourself with a profile picture shooting or otherwise “brandishing” a firearm, especially in a profile picture.
Let’s say you had the unfortunate experience to actually use your handgun for self-defense and killed someone. Regardless of the circumstances, you own that bullet from the moment it leaves the barrel, and there could easily be an agressive lawyer representing the family of the dead person, and jury that isn’t as well-versed on guns as you may be, on the other end of the bullet.
How do you think it looks to the jury or judge when the lawyer puts the picture(s) of you professing your affinity towards firearms on the big screen projector? Let’s put it this way…I would say in all cases, it’s not going to be a positive for you.
This would be similar to a peson that had profile (and other) pictures of them holding a bottle of booze or drinking. When they are in court for an alcohol related death, those pictures will be prejudicial if admitted as evidence.
So sure, you can be “right”. It may not be “fair” that such pictures would influence triers of fact. But I think I would rather not provide the other side with visual ammo to come after me.
In a court of law, the truth takes a back seat to what can be “proven” to a jury…and anything can happen.
Mike, you’re absolutely right. And I agree with everything you said. But, at the same time, the profile is private and used for communication between different shooting forums. I shoot for sport and am starting to shoot competitively. In the same token, the picture can also prove that I take my sport seriously and safely as I’m wearing eyes and ears, and shooting at a private range that I pay to use for my legally licensed firearms. If I were to someday “need” to use my firearm in self-defense..it would be just that, and we’d line up character references. Lawyers will be lawyers..absolutely though, and I appreciate your point.
He must be a member of ar15.com they are all convinced horse chicks are crazy.
Welllllllll, as a frequenter to ar15.com, and been around horse chicks in TX and NM most of my life (married to one)…..
.
.
Yeah, crazy. As a loon.
When I posted my profile pic on facebook with my .270 after a day of hunting I had a stranger message me and told me he wanted to get to know me better….I told him that I used facebook for real people, that I really know and to notice that “I have a gun”…..
This is something that my firearms group deals with on a regular basis. When we go out into the comunity for different projects people are often put off by the amount of Gun imagery that we put out. For some reason they dont seem to understand that in top of being shooting club we work to give woman an opertunity to build real friendships and community through the shooting sports. the fact that people cant see the connection gets really discouraging
As a man who has several guns and his CPL (but doesn’t frequent the range more than monthly) I think a woman who feels confident on the range and doesn’t need a boyfriend or husband to help her enjoy the sport is quite a turn on. Most men though are far too insecure to deal with such women who enjoy shooting and gun ownership, etc.
A Woman who knows how to shoot is in no way a turn off, nor should it be intimidating. The reality is that hand-to-hand, the average woman is weaker than the average man. A woman who can shoot is not so easily dominated. I suppose I can see how a man who does not shoot might find that intimidating… but the fact that my wife has her CHL and knows how to use her weapons makes me a much less paranoid husband.
Embrace your ability to protect yourselves, ladies. Don’t let some ill-conceived and inappropriate misconception dictate the way you live your life or do your business.
I definitely understand how you feel. I’m a law student and receive quite a bit of judgment about my love of firearms, not just for self-defense but also as a hobby. While some try to argue the merits of the Second Amendment I don’t feel the need to defend my choice to exercise my constitutional right. If they are uncomfortable with firearms, especially if they are uncomfortable with a woman having firearms, that is their problem. I don’t try to understand, nor do I judge, their choices. I only ask for the same in return. I recently got engaged at my local firing range. Going to the range is a frequent date night activity for me and my now fiance. We enjoy shooting together. He proposed to me by lining up .40 cal cartridges in containers to read “will you marry me?” It was perfect. It was us. But when I put the pictures from the engagement up on my social media profile I heard some snide comments about a woman being in a range, some comments about guns in general, as well as comments judging the range as a place to propose. I attribute the negative comments to lack of knowledge. People are afraid of what they don’t understand. When people have not taken the time to understand firearms their ignorance and fear come out in negative and offensive ways.
Sounds like he was intimidated by a real woman.
Good for you. I’ve had the same reaction from both genders. In fact I am less likely to discuss firearms around women as they tend to freak out more in my experience.
I’ve always had the opposite reaction. People I know don’t care that I carry because I’m a girl. If it was a guy they said that it would be weird. My grandma on the other hand thinks it’s crazy that anyone would carry.
Wow. I’m not alone! As a Firearms Instructor and a horse-crazy cowgirl, I’ve gotten the same thing. Heck, I even combine the two and do Cowboy Mounted Shooting! Guess that makes me a hard-core gun toting control freak?
I see nothing wrong with girls with guns. Seems to me in this age it’s just plain smart! These guys ur talking about are stone age idiots!
Good thing you didn’t have a pic with you riding the horse AND holding a gun! His head would’ve exploded!